Telling Others

I have officially started taking the next step in telling others. There will be three phases in me telling others.

Phase 1 - (Already Completed)
I told the immediate family who needed to be an emotional support. This included my wife (of course), my parents, my wife's parents, a cousin and friend who I have talked to previously when I thought it was Chronic Fatigue, and my assistant manager (who is also my cousin and friend). I did this within the first few days. It was important to me to inform some people so I could get it off my chest. I also knew it would be important to them to know.

Phase 2 - (Currently Doing)
Two weeks after being diagnosed with Fibro I have started telling others who see the results but don't know what is going on. This includes my brothers and sisters, my employees, and anybody else that would "need" to know. Basically I feel my reputation needs to be protected so others don't think I am "pushing them off" or being lazy.

Family and Friends - Originally I was going to wait for another month or two before telling family and friends. Now I strongly believe they need to know so I have a "support system." I have saying it that way but that is exactly what it is. The main goal with telling family is to make sure they push me to do activities that I have stopped doing. I used to love fishing and hiking. Now I don't do either and it doesn't bother. That has become a big warning flag for me. Things I used to love but now I don't ..... there is a problem there and I need to fix it. Family will be a good resource for getting out and about and pushing my body without pushing it too far.

It is also important for family to know so they don't think I am being lazy during family activities. I really do not want to be known as the "lazy butt" who never helps with yard work or doesn't run around a lot while playing football, etc.


Phase 3 -
Phase three will be telling others who don't need to know immediately. I do not plan on, and don't agree with, telling everybody and their dog. Some people just do not need to know. But occasionally there are circumstances where people will need to know. Ex. I was talking to a friend who was really wanting me to do some work on his sprinkler system. I kept telling him that it would be better to get somebody else because I had no idea how long it would take me to do it. He kept pushing for me to do it. After 30 minutes or so I realized it was sounding like I was pushing him off and was being wish washy. So I decided I had better tell him the real reason why he was not receiving a definite answer and why I wasn't wanting to do it. It was starting to hurt my reputation and it was apparent I was hiding something. After telling him he simply said he would find somebody else and he didn't want me to worry about it. He then asked a few questions about Fibromyalgia and I answered them. He was just fine knowing what I had and I felt good. I no longer have to tell "white lies" to him or sound wish washy.

Fibromyalgia

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia two weeks ago. I am still trying to "process" the fact that I have it and have been going through all the emotions of feeling depressed, denial, and hope. I have told very few people and didn't plan on telling others for a while. I didn't want people to "pitty" me or not include me when they need help with something. Now I believe it will be better to tell those who see the results of this disease so they don't assume other things. It will be best for my siblings to know so they understand why I seem "lazy" when we all work in my parents yard. It will definitely help telling my coworkers so they don't think I am working whatever hours I want. I don't want those I manage to think I don't take my responsibilities serious. So, over the next couple weeks I will be letting others know who directly see the symptoms and then let the word naturally seep out to others who know me.

What is Fibromyalgia? That is a good question and I have yet to read a good explanation of what it is. The medical field does not yet know exactly what Fibromyalgia is or what causes it. The things they do know are that people in all categories of life are diagnosed with it. Ages generally range from 20 - 50 years. More women are diagnosed than men, 9 to 1 ratio. The medical community says that it cannot be healed and it never goes away. Some believe it has to do with the nervous system getting confused while others believe it has to do with the health of the gut. Yet there are also many who do not believe Fibromyalgia even exists and it is a mental and emotional issue. There are no tests to give a definite diagnosis. The best way to explain what it is is to explain what the symptoms are.

What are the symptoms of Fibromyalgia? Well, to keep it simple I will explain how it is affecting me since it affects everybody a little differently. Think of the last time you had the flu. I mean a bad flu. How did your body and mind feel? That is basically how I feel. My body aches constantly but it varies on the intensity. Some days it aches so bad I spend it in bed. Other days I can easily manage the aching and can do all my regular activities. There is also the "Fibro Fog". This is a phrase referring to the memory affects. It is harder to focus than it used to be. My memory has become foggy at times. I have been getting very very frustrated at the way my memory has been working, or should I say "not working." I used to be really good with names. Not any more. Numbers, or rather the pattern of numbers, has always been my forte but it is not as good as it used to be.

How are you diagnosed with Fibromyalgia? Again to keep it simple, to be diagnosed you have to not be diagnosed with other diseases/illnesses. Doesn't that make sense? It is a process of elimination. First you will be tested for your Thyroid and a couple other things. Then you will be called back for more blood tests. Once you and the doctor are sick of doing the tests, and assuming you have had the symptoms for more then 6 months, you will be diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Simple as that. Oh, he might also give you a pressure point test. He will push on pressure points on your upper back/shoulders close to the neck, same spots on the front side, on your arm opposite side of the elbow, a couple points on your hips, and down by your knee. There are many diagrams out there if you want to see exactly where the pressure points are.

My Fibromyalgia Overall - I definitely am not at the extreme point that many individuals reach and I don't plan on getting there. For me the biggest obstacle at this point is the mental side. To gradually become weaker and not know why makes you feel like a lazy butt even though you still try to do more than most people. Too gradually become dumber really doesn't help your "self esteem." At least I finally know why these things are happening to me. Now I just need to learn how to adjust my life so they don't keep getting worse and eventually take me over.